Reg in AtL

Debating Dating Standards and Self-Worth in the Viral Cheesecake Factory vid

December 20, 2023 Reggie Johnson & Jason Henry Season 6 Episode 37
Reg in AtL
Debating Dating Standards and Self-Worth in the Viral Cheesecake Factory vid
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Dating is far more than just where you wine and dine; it's a mirror reflecting our self-perception. We all have our stories of misjudged self-worth, and I'm no stranger to the pitfalls of the dating hierarchy. Join us as we get real about the importance of self-awareness beyond the superficial.

Speaker 1:

It's Reggie Natale, coming to you from Love City, atlanta, georgia, here with Jason Harry in the windy city of Chicago. And you know what, jase, this is going to be the first show I've done with somebody actually driving like. I see these shows, but I've never done one. You know what I mean. You are my inaugural Jason in the whip show. You know what I mean? Well, I'm about to park right now.

Speaker 2:

I don't know how much driving I'm going to be doing to go up on the park right now.

Speaker 1:

So, jase, we had talked a while back ago and we always talk, we always do these shows, jase about women standards. We talked about Kevin Samuel's stories. We've done a lot of these types of shows and I wanted a few more of them because I think that's it's always an interesting subject to talk about. And you sent me a video about this woman who was going to the Cheesecake Factory. I think I have the video. Okay, I think I have the video. So I'm going to play the video if this actually works for me, because, well, that's another story, but I'll play the video and then we'll kind of react to it on the end of it. Let me see if I can get it on here and get it played for the audience here. Boom, there we go.

Speaker 2:

Let's see if I can play on here.

Speaker 1:

Let's see what's going on here, yes, did you want me to flip from the door for you? Oh no, she show his face. Oh my God, yeah, right, yeah, this is the Cheesecake Factory. What's the problem with that? This is a chain restaurant. Who takes someone that looks like this to a chain restaurant? You want to talk about it?

Speaker 2:

I'm talking about it. You want to talk about it.

Speaker 1:

Oh, yeah, I want to talk about it. Yeah, come on, get up, we're going to talk about it, all right. So let's go ahead and get that back out of here, because that was what we were reacting to. Now you know it's interesting about this, jace, is I see stuff like this. I didn't even know if this was real. I thought this was maybe a skit or something.

Speaker 2:

No, no Was it real.

Speaker 1:

So give me some background on this, because you don't want to put me on to this. To begin with, I wasn't even aware of this happening and I remember it happened a couple of months ago, a few months ago and I haven't had a chance to talk to you about it. So give me some background on this.

Speaker 2:

Well, from I just, you know, pull like anybody else. I pulled it up on social media and I didn't think it was a joke because and here's the reason why what I've been seeing a lot lately is, you know, when I look at other I don't know if they're podcast shows or whatever like that but these shows where guys are pretty much exposing, you know, society I don't want to just point out and just single out women, but just how there's single and outs. You know where our society is at right now, with how sensitive we are, how how particular we are, how entitled we are, how you know just everything. And now, when I'm starting to see more and more, it's like this running joke that's becoming a little bit more, unfortunately, a little realistic, where women have a list. Now, women have always had a list, is you know, even if we all have a certain degree.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, we all have a checklist, yeah, a checklist.

Speaker 2:

But this checklist for most women it's like you know, what gives women the it would give women. You know this, and it's for me. From what I'm seeing, it's a lot of it's based off of how they may feel at that particular time versus. You know, people's emotions are changing all the time. So right, but what has been the running joke now on this list is and I don't know if you've seen it, I'll send it to you there's this list of where not to take a woman on the first date, and cheesecake factory is at it. I don't want to say it's the number one, but it's at the top of the top five Cheesecake factory.

Speaker 1:

I love cheese.

Speaker 2:

I don't know, I don't know, I do not know what that's about. I don't like because cheesecake look man, I like cheesecake factory, me too.

Speaker 1:

Okay, I don't know what that says about me, but I like cheesecake factory personally.

Speaker 2:

I think it's all right you know it used to be don't take them to McDonald's, don't take them to Burger King, don't take them, you know. Don't give them a happy meal, you know, or don't give them that. You know that, that, that that two, that $2 deal, you know, or something like that, it or it.

Speaker 1:

look, I told her she could supersize it, you know, or something like that, anything that you can order with a number, so don't take her to a place where you can choose a number. I get way, I can get. Give me the number four, but it changes all the time, that's no, what's confusing is it changes all the time.

Speaker 2:

You can't take a bowling. You can't take her to the pool hall. You can't take her to you know. No, you can't take her to Dave and Buster's.

Speaker 1:

You can't do all of them.

Speaker 2:

Good it's so much out to the point where it's like the, the stuff that's not, that's not put on the list, of course, is state 48,. No boo, I'm in Chicago, so there's RPM Ruth, Chris. Um, you know the top, the top done places. You know, and it and it's not a surprise to me, that this is reserved for not necessarily the 1% or the 0.01%, but it's definitely reserved for the top tier of people that are within five to 10% earners. It takes time to get to that Cause I'm always hearing about, especially on these uncertain podcast shows where the women are asked for what kind of man you expect to get. And of course, it's the 666 deal where it's six pack abs, six foot tall, six figures. And we're not talking about the low end of the six figures, we're not talking even, we ain't even talking about 100,000.

Speaker 1:

The low end of the six. We're talking about cause, that's what they.

Speaker 2:

that's how they're looking at it now. It's like it's not even 100,000. You know, minimum is half a mil and it's like oh, stop it bro, stop it man. And you know, I don't know if you look at that they have that delusional calculator now out for you know, for women, where they pretty much calculate the odds of them possibly getting a certain tier of man that makes that certain money.

Speaker 1:

Where do you find that calculator at Jay? Where is that? I found that. It's like I have no idea. I'm gonna look it up. I'm gonna look it up. You can look it up. You can look it up. We can do it on another show.

Speaker 2:

We can do it on another show. I know that. I think shout out to Russian Fit. I know that they had. That was they were the first time I saw the delusional counter calculator on their on their podcast and I saw it and I was like where'd they download this?

Speaker 1:

Where'd they get this?

Speaker 2:

Cause I gotta get me one Period.

Speaker 1:

You know what I mean. Well, every time I have that conversation, let's go ahead and pull out the calculator and check your, check your odds. You know what I mean.

Speaker 2:

It's crazy because it's like, you know for what? A lot of these women, the women that were talking about, like this woman in the cheesecake factory. You know, first off, you know, I'm just going to say it she don't look like much to me.

Speaker 1:

You know she's, she's not, she's not. J out of one to 10, what's the number For her? Minus attitude because the attitude you might the the the Two or three.

Speaker 2:

Two, two or three. Gracious Two or three because and I'm, and you said attitude cause, if I'm going, up just aesthetics. Aesthetics three and a half.

Speaker 1:

Wow, I was up. I'm up to like six, seven. I thought she looked all right until she said stuff. Is this just talking about stuff?

Speaker 2:

No, it's just you know what man, I'm just going to call it spade to spade man, I ain't listen. First of all, she. You know and I'm going from shout out to rest in peace my man, kevin Samuel's. She's over, well over 20. You know, she's well over her 20s, so her market value is down. Second, even I, really, if I was to even see her in our prime years because we look that she actually looks like she's not too far from my age group I'll probably wouldn't get with her. Really, you know, she, no, god no, because I probably would, man, I can't lie to that.

Speaker 1:

I probably wouldn't myself, man.

Speaker 2:

She probably listened, she probably was in her prime years. She probably was kind of cute or even bored of line. Fine, I don't know.

Speaker 1:

But we go to Cheesecake Factory and she would curve me and so we, I would be getting curved like oh boy, cause I would have thought Cheesecake Factory is all right. So clearly we both would have been getting curved.

Speaker 2:

First of all, a man is taking you to a respectable restaurant to eat. He's feeding you, so that should be a hands down. That should be no issue right there. If the man is respectfully, you can tell that he wanted to go out with her. I can just tell from the video that he was, you know, very happy to take her out. She didn't seem as enthused, not even from not even, not even the fact that they went to Cheesecake Factory, but she just seemed like she was just. You know what they call nowadays foodie calls, where they'll just use a man to get fed on a certain day.

Speaker 1:

You called it a foodie call. Is that what you said?

Speaker 2:

No, I didn't come up with that I didn't come up with that. That's actually been out there for a while.

Speaker 1:

There's a foodie call, though that's that's. That's what it's called.

Speaker 2:

Right. There's certain women now where they'll go out with the guy, or multiple guys throughout the week so they save up on groceries. They just go out with them. They're like, okay, I got him for Monday, I got him for Wednesday, all right, I'll space this guy out for Thursday. I definitely gonna need to get something to eat on Saturday. Don't like none of these dudes. They ain't got no intention on dating these dudes long term. They just using them for a meal. And then, of course, after the meal is over, hey, kiss on the cheek, maybe, or kiss on the forehead, tap on the shoulder. All right, you so sweet, I gotta go. My girl's calling me, whether they calling them or not. They in the Uber, they in the cab, they going home. I got fed, all right, cool, I ain't gotta fill up my fridge for the next week. It's already good, I'm stocked up. It's crazy. It's crazy, but that's what it is, man. So, fellas, be on the lookout. Man, beware, man, beware. If the woman isn't showing you too much interest in the beginning and then, all of a sudden, she won't give you a shot. I hate to say it, because some women might change them, genuinely, change their mind, but do not be a second thought for someone. Do not be, oh, I'll reconsider, or whatever like that, because some women just do stuff sometimes. Just I just want to keep my options open, or whatever like that when, as in fact, and I'm just gonna say it there's average looking women that are not looking, women that are thinking like they're top tier and I'm not trying to degrade women when I say this, they look, I know where I lie on the spectrum as far as looks on men. I am not in my 20s anymore Now. Do I consider myself an ugly person? No, but do I consider myself top tier? Hell, no, I don't. You know what I mean. It's like I know where I lie and then if you want to get in, that's just on aesthetics. But if we're just talking about earning potential on that value Richter scale, I say I'm maybe six and a half right now Because I have good credit. You see me in a car. I'm obviously making my payments. I ain't got repo yet. So you know, I'm just keeping it honest, I'm just keeping it on. Honey. I do have, you know, credit cards and stuff like that. I have good stand, I pay on time, I take care of my bills, I'm responsible. Now am I top tier? Am I 0.01%? No, am I?

Speaker 1:

It's hard to get in there, man, it's hard to get in there.

Speaker 2:

Not everybody's going to be Jeff Bezos or Elon Musk.

Speaker 1:

Not everybody's going to be you know Bill Gates or you know Jay let me tell you a quick story here on what you were just saying right there. Quick story it really happened. So I was doing an event over. This is years ago. I don't know if you know who Boris Kujo is.

Speaker 2:

Okay, yes, yes, yes, boris.

Speaker 1:

Kujo. Okay, so I'm doing a show, an event, and it was for the mayor of Atlanta. I think it was like a birthday party, andrew Young, and there was a lot of stars there. My highlight was seeing Julius Irving there, dr Jay, I must force. That's what my highlight was. Your camera's going in and out, but I'm just going to keep going.

Speaker 2:

And as I'm sorry about that, yeah.

Speaker 1:

So my highlight was seeing Julius Irving. So Boris Kujo is there, Okay. And when I tell you this guy had like professional good looks, that it's like all the other dudes in there, inclusive of myself, Jay that disappeared Like we're not even around, no more, we're not even all. I saw a guy come up with the Boris Kujo and tell him how attractive he was. From another, from another grown man. He went to him and said hey bro, you're an attractive dude and he's killing us, he's destroying everybody else in this room. So I understand where you're coming from. You know what I mean. Sometimes you're here, sometimes you're there. You know it. Just it depends, you know.

Speaker 2:

You got to know where you lie on the spectrum as far as where you're at, and to be honest with yourself, to be brutally honest, and that's I mean I think that's more definitely in the man culture but when we're honest with it, when we're brutally honest with ourselves, it gives us an idea on you know what you can and can't do or what you can possibly improve upon. For sure. It's not a put down. I think that's the problem. A lot of people look at it like it's a letdown or it's like You're degrading yourself or whatever, and it's like it's not. It's a reality check. Now, does this mean that Boris Kojo knows all is all is God? No, it just listen. He's a man blessed with some good aesthetics, with some great aesthetics. You know, and I remember him from when he used to be on the soul food TV series or whatever like that. You know when he was on that and he played that and he was. He's been married to his wife, or God knows.

Speaker 1:

She was there as well, to a beautiful woman.

Speaker 2:

She was a beautiful woman, beautiful woman now For a guy. I I say it like this much respect to him, for a guy who's a good-looking man, you know, he realized that this woman I forgive me, I forget her name, but because she's a well-known actress as well but for him to recognize that, okay, this woman loves me, for me it's not just when I'm bringing to the table, is not just my aesthetics, it's not just, you know, the money and everything like that and they clearly is the testament to their relationship and how strong it's been. So he just, you know, regardless of all the women in the world and I mean I'm sure it's some of the baddest and finest, top-tier- Nicole Parker.

Speaker 1:

Nicole Parker.

Speaker 2:

Nicole Ari Parker.

Speaker 1:

Nicole Ari Parker. Correct, yeah, correct.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, all the baddest and finest women. I've heard stories, I've read articles on this dude where certain people were interviewing them. Women would just coming up to the interview like yo, you got to get me in there. Yeah, you know that. That's, that's just how good-looking he was, or whatever like that. But it, but, but going out. Let's reverse it to the women. The the issue with this is is that when it comes to men, we're brutally honest. We don't lie to each other, we don't. We don't sit in the room the night we the night we about to go out and get dressed up, and stuff like that. You look yo fam, yo bomb man.

Speaker 1:

You you got it no.

Speaker 2:

Like Eddie Murphy said in the movie boomerang you know we'll. We'll say yo, that bro look cool. You know Sam, but we ain't going as far. Yo look at the shoulders like no, we don't go that far. You know we'll. It will be on it, brutally honest with each other to be like yo, you look like a hot mess dog. You look like right, you know I'm saying, or whatever like that. Or or if let's say, some dude in our group is like man, I can't seem to get the females or whatever like that. Now let's say our homie is not too tall, so you like yo, man, you need to work on your mouthpiece. Fam Need to work on that, need to work on that mouthpiece. On your game, you ain't as tall as the rest of us. So she looking for tall dudes. You gotta, you gotta find a way to count it for us. We got to figure it out. Right gotta gotta, we gotta figure it out because we gotta stay real with ourselves, with women. They lie to each other. They lie each other all the time, right before they about to go. Girl, you look like a teen, you might be a size 10. No, not, no, not, no offense, but see, women don't? You might be a 13, you might. You don't say I'm talking about size wise, but women will sit up there and be like girl, you were nine, you were ten, you was seven point eight, you're seven point five. Right now, as soon as you put that dress on, you gonna double up. You're gonna be a nine or whatever like that. And they lie, they lie hard.

Speaker 1:

Do you feel like man contributed that a little bit with like us, cuz you know a guy like guys, man Go hit on anything anyway and they're saying anything. You know what I mean? And it's like either Jay Z's, a lot of women stuck up from too many sexual advances, right? It gives you a false sense of where that really lies when some guys are just horn dogs and they hitting that they're shooting at anything.

Speaker 2:

Look, okay, you know what I'm gonna put myself in the pot. We've all fallen short. Look, and I thought look, and there's times where I don't want to say I've gone to the bottom of the barrel. I'm gonna say like I haven't gone that low. But there's been times where it's just like, look, I'm just this, ain't even taking one for the team. This is just just how I'm feeling right now.

Speaker 1:

Word and I. It's happened. All the best of us. Let me just go ahead and throw that out there, Look.

Speaker 2:

I think what it is is we're, of course, we're not gonna stay with that person forever, but what happens is is, let's say, the person you get with isn't used to getting someone of your caliber, because that's happened to all of us at times, yeah, but when? But when it? But when it happens to women, because this is this happens a lot. There's a lot of top tier guys, right, that will get with an average chick every now and again just for the sake of like I, it's available, right. What this does to the average woman and I'm just talking based off aesthetics what this does to the average looking woman is it makes them believe that they have a shot with a guy like that. So now they're aiming for that, and that only.

Speaker 1:

I wouldn't be saying that it's a new standard, basically what you're saying. That's a new standard, it's a delusional standard, oh, very delusional standard.

Speaker 2:

Because now, because, look, going back to the Cheesecake Factory video, I wouldn't be surprised that shorty in that pic in that video, probably in her prime years, probably got with maybe some top tier dudes in her prime years, but they weren't trying to keep her. They weren't trying to retain her, but in her head she was thinking well, I got them at one point in time, so I deserve top tier treatment, pre-princess privilege to the utmost for the rest of my days. Now I'm looking at the dude in the car. First of all, you're rolling in a Tesla. I don't know what he's pulling annually, neither do you, but you're pushing a Tesla. That ain't no chump change.

Speaker 1:

No, it's not a cheap car. I'll tell you that it's not a cheap ride.

Speaker 2:

So whatever this dude is doing for a living, working an honest job, kudos to him for that. But however, he probably wanted to date her more than she wanted to date him. Only reason why I think she's.

Speaker 1:

I think that's how it looks, at least outside. Looking in, that's how it looks.

Speaker 2:

No, look, this dude got out the car to get the door for her.

Speaker 1:

She's putting him on camera, he looking kind of like On that gentleman's stuff right there, yeah, he looking like a deer in headlights man.

Speaker 2:

He looking like well, you video with me, what's the issue here? What's going on? And he was like you want to talk about it and he's listen. I've seen the whole video. He was very calm, he was very patient and extremely respectful. I don't know if I would have had the same patience as my man. Same right right, but at the same time, I salute him for the fact that he stayed truly calm and stayed poised throughout the entire time, or whatever like that Got back in his ride that she locked him, out of which Baffled her. His car.

Speaker 1:

She locked him out of his car.

Speaker 2:

Locked him out of his ride.

Speaker 1:

Funny video. Man, that was a funny video, I did enjoy. You're right, that was very funny.

Speaker 2:

I would have been like, and then let's push fast forward Offer. You know, after she pretty much expressed that she didn't want to go there, here's the other, here's the other. Kicker Got to bag it up a little bit. That wasn't the first place they were that he was trying to take her. The reason, the reason why they ended up at the cheese cake factory was because the first place he was trying to take her was a spot called I believe they called it Aria which was a fan.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I've heard it. Yeah, no doubt, no doubt it was a fan.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it was a very so. It's like right up there with like no boo steak 48, master O's like one of those. I say thank God he didn't take her there, because what happened to that Like like?

Speaker 1:

did it fall through? Did it have reservations?

Speaker 2:

No, she was late getting ready. She took a round of time. They were supposed to head out Because if you look at the rest of the video at the time that they was opposed to head out, she purposely stalled and Was an hour late. He was downstairs or I don't know how the apartment was set up, how her complex was set up, but wherever he was waiting, whether he was waiting downstairs, in the lobby or in his car outside in the parking lot, she took a whole hour before she decided to come out. She didn't want to invite him in his house, okay wait the hour.

Speaker 1:

He waited the hour. Oh no, no, he know, here's my time.

Speaker 2:

Oh she, she didn't want to invite him in his place. You know, maybe take a seat. Hey, do you want to drink water? Anything like that, she. Her response was I'll give it semi-valid. I'll say it's valid because she said I didn't know you. You know, I don't want you in my place, I don't know you that. Well, Okay, fine, cool.

Speaker 1:

Is there a call when you get ready kind of situation that you can just be like Yo just call when you get there is there.

Speaker 2:

I do. If I said a time with the lady, if I said a time with a woman and you know we, you know, I know what time the movie starts or I know what time we made our, I made the reservations for us, whatever like that. Me personally, I try to leave out Hour and some change ahead of time because I always factor in traffic and just unforeseen stuff that I know I don't know what's gonna happen if I get there a little early, or if I, you know I tell them, I'll text them or call them hey look, I'm halfway here. I know you're probably still getting ready or whatever like that. Or I know that I'm a little bit earlier than I Anticipated. I'll call them or text them and let them know. That's my thing, that's what I'll do. If I know that I'm running a little bit late and I know I'm gonna be late, what I try to always do is hit them up and say, hey look, I didn't anticipate traffic to be this bad. This is bad time management on my part, but I am on my way, or something like that. That's what I'll do For the most part on the woman's end and because I'm only receiving it, I'm not the woman. If they're respectable. Nine times out of ten I'll get a response from saying either hey, are we still on for tonight? Right, I'm getting ready, or something like that, if they are running a little bit behind. I definitely respected when they say hey, I'm running a little bit behind, could you, you know, do you mind? Or something like not a problem. Whatever like that if we have, if they happen to tell me that around the same time that Maybe we might miss the movie or hell, we might miss the previews or something like that, I'm not gonna get upset about that. If we have to rearrange, you know, the movie times or the Reservate dinner, reservations or whatever it is that we're doing, you know, as long as she calls and is respect or text and it's respectable, I have no problem working around that. What I have an issue with is when the just how her whole attitude was in the video where it was just like well, I should be Pretty privileged princess, treated regardless of yeah, I got the car and show no voice, face disrespectful. Well, when he gets back in the car and he goes through the whole spiel about her being deliberately late, you know, when they were supposed to be on time for the, you know for the for the dinner at the first spot, she is very nonchalant, she's very, she disregards it, she tries to actually disregard it without accountability. And that's another thing that turns me off when you know you're in the wrong but you don't want to acknowledge it. You know, you know you're wrong for that, you know you did wrong for that, but you don't want to acknowledge it now. Because, because, see, now, because when, as soon as if you watch the rest of the video he said, he tells her, he says to her Well, look, I came to your apartment. You weren't ready yet. You took a whole hour before you came down. That was around the time that our reservation was. And she was like, well, I understand that. And then she just talked over it. She didn't want to acknowledge her part, her part in the, you know, in the situation where it was her fault. And that's why I'm seeing where a lot of not just her, but I'm seeing that with a lot of these modern day women nowadays, where, when it's their time, modern day, women.

Speaker 1:

I hear modern day women can explain what we got to go here in a second, but what's? Maybe we'll do a whole show on modern day women. Don't explain it, jason. I need more subject. We'll do a whole show on that. Well, not a problem, not a problem.

Speaker 2:

No, but well, I mean, I was wrapping it up anyway, but it was just what I'll see. A lot is is, when they're caught on their, in their own lie, or they're caught on their own BS, they instantly try to, you know, renavigate. You know the storyline. They try to. You know they try to push. You know put, push the goalpost a little bit more. They try to. You know there's always this but and although. However, there's always a reason. There's always a reason. Now, what I find funny about that is, if we're in trouble, if we have to hold ourselves accountable, then that's it. It is what it is. It's like no, you did wrong, you have to fess up, you have to do this. But if you do wrong, it's there's always a reason behind it. Oh you, poor baby, you have to understand what I'm going through. And it's that in the third. And I'm just not the one, I ain't the one Right, I can't do it. You know they say be the bigger man and turn the other cheek. Look, they did that in the Bible. I ain't say none about me doing it. So I ain't going that route. You know I ain't gonna turn the other cheek. You know it ain't happening.

Speaker 1:

You know, we've done a lot of these shows, man, and I feel like we're going to have some more do. I've come up with like two more just in this show and we'll do a whole whole series of these things, Jase, once again, I appreciate you bringing the A game here today, man, especially you know, because we did a lot of shows J on just audio shows, no the video is still relatively new in the process for me and I appreciate you taking some time out to join me here, man.

Speaker 2:

Not a problem, I appreciate you, as always, brother.

Speaker 1:

You got it. Well, this is Reggie and ATL. Check us out. Stitch your heart radio, Google podcast, Apple podcast, Spotify wherever you find your podcast, as well as tiktok. And check out Instagram. I have an actually Instagram page down there. Somebody's managing it for me. It's been going pretty well. I'm probably gonna put this on there at some points at RTJ, I in ATL at RTJ and ATL Check that out as well and appreciate you guys joining us wherever you are joining us. See you next time.

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Lateness and Accountability in Relationships
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