Reg in AtL
Reg in AtL
Modern women from a woman's point of view
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This episode is a follow up show on Modern Women from a woman's perspective
Uncomfortable Truths in Modern Dating
Speaker 1It's ready to come into you from the love city of Atlanta , Georgia , going out to what I assume the nail is the sunny city of Los Angeles . Is it sunny there ? Is it freezing there ?
Speaker 2It's okay . It's not what it should be . I mean , it's still giving winter for California , so that's fine with me .
Speaker 1But what is that ? Is that like 65 ? What do you guys push ?
Speaker 2Yeah , around that like 65 . It was raining like maybe an hour ago and it's still like sprinkled here and there , but you know it is winter and it's the dead of winter for us .
Speaker 1So it only gets better 65 . I mean , are you sure you're okay to do this show ? I mean , are you all right ?
Speaker 2I have blankets on , I have sweat socks . It's really hard . It's really hard out here .
Speaker 1Well , I appreciate you , Denelle , taking some time here to join us in your crazy winter weather that you're dealing with there . About back ago I wouldn't even say about back , let's see how long ago it was to know , I would say , roughly , I even I just released a show . Sometimes I do these shows and then they release in different orders . But I did a show with a co-host , Jason , and we were kind of talking about the manosphere , so to speak .
Speaker 1Now , when I was doing like my research for that show , because we were talking about , like modern women that's kind of how they say it a modern women show , and it's interesting because I feel like it's hard for any human being , whether it's man or woman , to not be modern . If you're living in modern times . It's difficult you know what I mean Because those times will affect you and they'll affect your mind state and stuff like that . So as I'm doing my research , you know , one of the things I found happening here , Denelle , is I found myself kind of getting radicalized here . I found myself being like wait a second , you're right , man . Like these women don't know what the hell they're doing . They're out here , they're asking .
Speaker 2Drinking that Kool-Aid . They're doing all this .
Speaker 1They're like , decided to back up a little bit . You know what I mean . They had to relax . But I do feel like there's some great points that are brought up , and not every point , denelle . I would say this Because some of my favorite people to watch and that does I think there's a woman named I'm gonna call her girl a woman named Melanie King that watched a lot of her content in that space , because it's not just men in that space , you know , there's women in that space as well that are kind of advocating for some of the things that a lot of guys talk about and , to be honest with you , it's not really it's not all lies .
Speaker 1Maybe it can be presented better , but I feel like there are some uncomfortable truths you know what I mean that kind of present themselves in dating , right . So some of those uncomfortable truths are if you're a guy and you are , let's say , that you're 5'1 and overweight , the uncomfortable truth is a lot of women might not find that attractive and they're not gonna have any problems , denelle , any problems getting at this dude , right , they're not gonna have any problems . They're gonna get at you to your face . They're gonna get at you to their friends . They're gonna get at you to social media , they're just getting at you . And if you have no money , it's the same thing . A guy that may be struggling maybe he's living with his mom right now , but he's working . He's not gonna be in that situation all his life . He's kind of working his way out of that . Oh , these women , they're gonna still get at you , they're gonna put you there and it's like you're there forever and they will be on you .
Speaker 1So I thought those were just kind of uncomfortable truths , like if you are in certain economic situations and you're a guy , you might need to work on that a bit before you enter the dating pool , because it's gonna be a little bit harder for you . It's not impossible , nothing's impossible but it might be a little bit harder for you . I think that's uncomfortable truth for guys , but there are uncomfortable truths for women as well , and I feel like that's kind of what the man of fear is kind of focused on , like , hey , like you get past a certain age , there is a it might be a a bigger hill to climb in the dating pool . And what I can tell you from experience is that when you're a younger guy and you're kind of like , maybe there's
Age, Dating, and Gender Differences
Speaker 1some . I was never based in the Casanova type . You know all the all the girls in class like I was not the guy , but but I did always have somebody .
Speaker 1I had somebody to know . I just didn't have all all the women like like some guys had had , and you're younger and you're kind of going through those things and you're trying . I was still very fortunate because I have dated a lot . You know , I wasn't really . I haven't really experienced like a lot of loneliness in my life , so I was still very fortunate in that sense . But it's kind of like I still was never that guy . You know what I mean . I , I went to an event or I was at an event one time . I don't know if you know , bors Kudrow is yeah of course .
Speaker 1And it was an event at the High Museum , I think it was , for this was the years , and years ago was for a mayor here , ex mayor Andrew Young . I think it was like a birthday party celebration , something like that . And he was there and when I tell you , there was no other guy in the room we all , all of us peasant men in the room , just disappeared . We all disappeared . We're not , we're invisible in this room . This man , danelle , had other men coming up to him complimenting him like hey , man , you're really .
Speaker 2Listen , bro , you're a really handsome guy . Even better in person . We like that , sir .
Speaker 1What's good , you're a really handsome guy man , and he was . He's destroying us . He's destroying us mere mortal guys out here . But so I mean there's times when these things happen . But I feel like as guys get older and they start to mature and things get better for them economically in life and they cause . I do feel like sometimes men at least some men mature a little bit slower than a lot of women .
Speaker 1Your dating pool , danelle , it's incredible because you can be 30s , 40s , 50s , even some of these 60 year old dudes I'm seeing on some of these shows and stuff , and you're still in the same dating pool with 20 , 30 year old women Like they . They are still , you're still a consideration to them and I feel like what some of that comes up is because a lot of those well , here's the thing , here's the thing . I have had women he don't mean that are like half my age and it is absolutely , it's absolutely incredible and of course I'm gonna curb him , have a daughter and then she's like around that age . So of course that's ridiculous . It's ridiculous , but at the same time , thank you . Thank you very much , lacey . Absolutely , I appreciate that . Yes , absolutely .
Speaker 1I still hate you know what I mean If I was going there . I have opportunities , so and it's funny . It's funny because I feel like those opportunities are more now than they were even when I was younger . I was getting . You're trying to get with other 20 year old women at the time and they have the pick of the litter , they're curving man , they got like 20 dudes and you're not . You're maybe you're cracking that top 10 , but you're definitely not at the one .
Speaker 1So I do feel like there's it's because of some of the things that maybe women look for when it comes to certain security , because women will be more forgiving on certain aesthetics than guys will . Maybe because guys are just so visual , women could be more forgiving on certain set . It's not to say that everybody doesn't look for looks , but what are your thoughts on that , in particular as far as , like , what women may be looking for , what men may be looking for and how that kind of differs throughout age , because that was very surprising to me as I age , that this would even be a possibility , because you think like , hey , when I get to this age , this is the age that I'll attract . What are your thoughts on that ?
Speaker 2Okay , so I've seen the man of Fear , stuff , all kinds of stuff being a modern woman .
Speaker 1Have you seen it ? Did you get radicalized yourself ?
Speaker 2Danelle I , so I would agree with some of the things that they say , but definitely not all .
Age Gap Relationships and Motivations
Speaker 2And this narrative that , like all these young girls are going for older men and it's just . It's not what people think it is , and statistically .
Speaker 1that's not true For sure , because it definitely is not all . I would tell you that for sure .
Speaker 2Yeah , it's not . It's untrue . Most of the women are dating anywhere from two to two to four years around their age . So I still get . I work in construction , I get somebody's grandfather telling me about his pension and basically trying to persuade me into why . Who does that have to be going with it ?
Speaker 1Like is that like ? I've seen these 60 year old dudes with like 30 year old women , like 30 years younger than them .
Speaker 2And they say , hey , it's not for money .
Speaker 1Some of these women say that that's not for money . Do you agree with that or do you feel like they're just lying ?
Speaker 2I feel like that might not be their only motivator for doing that . I feel like a lot of them lead with oh he has so much to teach me , and blah blah blah and I'm like if I wanted a daddy , I would just get that . Like it doesn't make any sense , like I'm , like I'm not his kid , he doesn't need to raise me .
Speaker 1And that's what that gives , it gives .
Speaker 2I'm raising this .
Speaker 1Does it give you daddy vibes ? Is that the vibes that you get ?
Speaker 2Yeah , 100% , 100% I've seen these relationships .
Speaker 1I've been around some of these women .
Speaker 2If that's what you want , you probably need to get some therapy .
Speaker 2Nice , work , that stuff out , work it out , goodness gracious I mean , if you guys come into it like with an understanding , like , hey , this is financial , I'm just trying to have some fun , I need , I have things , I have goals that I want to meet and this man has the business connections that I'm looking for . He has the ability to finance me in a way that I wouldn't be able to do on my own . So if that's what you want , do it , go for it , whatever you know what these guys like in their 30s .
Speaker 1You can find them at their 30s .
Speaker 2There might be there might be , but the average man is mostly in . They will have the connections and financial abilities to help you out . Mostly 40 and above . Really interesting . You've seen the younger dudes . A lot of them don't have that income . That's why you have the whole manosphere , because they feel like they can't compete . They don't like it's the broke dude type thing and a lot of understanding . It's not about your money , like if your personality is great , cool , like you'll find some writers they might want to rock with you being broke .
Speaker 1That's why you see all these baby daddy's life . Hey , listen , I was broke when I was about 20s , in my early 30s . It wasn't gravy , you know what I mean . I'm telling you , it wasn't my break .
Speaker 2I would say it's about your ambition . Are you actively trying to get somewhere ? I can rock with that all day , but if you are complaining about being broke and not really doing anything about that , why ? Why would I give you the time when I can go for an older man who has done all that stuff and seen , like , oh , I gotta actually , I gotta actually have some stuff with now , like I gotta do something different . Women my age don't want to stay around because I don't really have anything emotionally to offer with them . Well then , let me go get some young girl who all I have to show is my money and that's it . And a lot of them , they just want to .
Speaker 1They want to steal your youth . You get this .
Speaker 2That is too you know she's attractive , absolutely , no , no , she definitely , definitely . And she , just like they said , take me along just to seal the deal .
Speaker 1That's literally how it is . Sometimes that's just hilarious .
Speaker 2That's literally how it is . Like they want to , like other men , respect you more in business when they have something pretty next to you and that's true , interesting , interesting . But to that it ain't enough . Because a lot of times you'll see , like I've been at the club , I've seen these guys with the younger girls and they're trying to live a life Like they're trying to live their childhood that they missed out on where it's really like that man .
Speaker 2Okay , it's like I'm in . I'm that man . I got all these young girls like fawning over me because I didn't when I was younger , or it's yeah . I'm that guy . I I just want to have fun . I got a useful spirit , I'm young at heart and all this kind of stuff . I was like whatever you want to say , sir , this , whatever you want to like I can't just be there life to know ?
Speaker 1like why can't they just want to live that life ? I mean , that's possibility , right , so possibly .
Speaker 2Needing a knee surgery . I think not , and there's like anything you guys would relate to . You lie you're lie .
Speaker 1Really , you don't think that somebody can have a 30-year age difference because these people be like so , listen . So if , if I was to do this , if I was to do what what I've seen some of these guys have are doing out here and it's no , I'm no judgment zone here . Listen , man , you want to go date a woman 30 years younger me ? Knock yourself out , man , I can stuff out . That means that if you , if I was to do that , my future mate would be in their teens right now . They're getting through school , you know what I mean and you're just waiting for them to kind of get through there and in some guys are saying stuff like she , you know she's fun again , you know I might my older model .
Speaker 1I was with my old wife and she didn't want to do nothing , she didn't want to go nowhere and now with my yeah , you , you're dating an event planners that you're saying your travel agent is right there beside you and just happened to look pretty like . A bad thing like . Is that something that guys ?
Speaker 2aspire to be honest about it , because they're trying to pass it off like it's this , this great relationship , and it is totally normal and that's not the case . It's not the case .
Speaker 1I wouldn't say normal . Normal is a stretch , right , even if I do , even if I've had experiences . It's not like they're multiple , it's not like there's tons of them . You know what I mean . Like if I have somebody that's that Will be half my age and and going down that road it's not necessarily a whole classroom , oh , it's not like they're not beaten down . Seen , though , when you have some For some guys maybe , I don't know nothing up like no , you know , it's not stuff like like it's not not it ?
Speaker 2Um , and it's not a lonely this thing , because a lot of the women at least that I , that I with they have tons of offers . People are coming in and they're older women , so that's not the case . So they're obviously looking for something else , and a lot of them . What is it ?
Speaker 1coming for because I put guys , a lot of guys , I'll tell you this . So there's , there's two numbers that you might have and I will , and I'll , and I'll give the numbers here and I'm just gonna throw random cuz I can't , I'm not gonna speak for everybody . You have the number and I'm gonna say from one to ten you know how guys may , may , talk about women Um , from one to ten and it may say hey , listen , I have the smash number , which , if we're just trying to smash , that's a very low number , man , that number can get low .
Speaker 1That number can get low to nail and then you might some people might confuse that with actually wanting to be with and and that's not just a man thing , by the way I've seen women who are savage . They'll do the exact same thing to you . Oh , yeah , for sure I understand and no qualms , right , I don't want to talk to you either . Oh , but it's a situation where if now A relationship being with somebody , building a life with somebody having to actually talk to them later , that number goes up immensely . Now the number has increased immensely . Like you would only do that with somebody that you would feel is an eight or so , so we're . If it's just like a one night and you could sneak out of there , maybe that's a three to four and you can get out of there . You know what I mean . What are your thoughts on that ?
Speaker 2Oh man , I think that's funny . They had one um tick talk that I saw . I guess this guy already had like a to-go bag for the woman after she stayed over . It was like a little goodie bag and have some snacks . They said they keep a good time , had a note in there . I was like bro , we can't , like I don't that's solid .
Speaker 1A lot of guys ain't giving you that . I've never not a lot of guys didn't give you no to go back . I feel like he's a solid stand-up individual .
Speaker 2Oh , but I also like , do I feel disrespected , a little bit like .
Speaker 1So what's more respectful notes to go back ?
Speaker 2No , no , I don't know . I don't know Like I'm you're , it's mixed like . Would you be offended ? No , but I want to be , because it's like wow , you already prepared this , you already knew that I would be your little one and done like a day . Have no pat on the back , nice night .
Speaker 1That is very funny . I wonder how many of those bags he has prepared . You know , I mean .
Speaker 2I mean you open his closet up and he's got 20 bags in there . Are you ? How many bags are you going through ? Is this a Costco run type thing ? Like You're right , he just took a day and just made some bags .
Speaker 1You know what I mean . You got a guts friends together . We're gonna make these to go bags for these ladies . You know what I mean . I might have them ready party .
Speaker 2You got a patting party , hi , I don't know how I feel about that . Um oh man . But I don't know , like , even even with the whole rating system in the beginning , like a 10 , like I I write a date , I mean , that's very subjective , though right it is .
Speaker 1It is , and I think you're entitled to personality and everything else .
Speaker 2Yeah , like there's . There's too many factors in that to just know . To make it so basic , you know , as far as like I would date it or I'd marry an eight , but I'll like sleep with a four and all other stuff , like , whatever you , you will , whatever comes along , you'll be into who she likes . That you , goodness gracious , like , like .
Speaker 1You mean to tell me that you feel that number is the same . To know what you're saying , you feel like guys will just Date anything Because they would smash anything is what you're saying .
Speaker 2I won't say no , yeah , I would , because I feel like loneliness to women and loneliness to men are are different in what way ? Because women tend to have a lot of , I would say , deeper friendships , um , like a smaller some most of them smaller group that kind of keep you going and you have those family connections and everything else where that that fills you up , like you can be at peace and not be with somebody . And I feel like a lot of women are are coming into their own with that and that's bothering .
Speaker 1And yeah , I'll look at it to be like , hey , where does me buddy , we're gonna golden girls , this thing . For the rest , of our life .
Speaker 2That's what you're saying . Thank you for being like . You have to be worth me .
Dating Challenges and Age Dynamics
Speaker 2I'm giving up some peace and I haven't like for me personally . I haven't found somebody that's worth that yet .
Speaker 1This first giving up your peace .
Speaker 2Yes , cause you're gonna have to have some turmoil , you're gonna have to have some arguments , not have to .
Speaker 1but I'm like there's going to be . It's a natural part . It's a natural Some uncomfortableness .
Speaker 2Yeah , and I haven't found somebody where I'm just like , yeah , I gotch for you . Yes , yes , turmoil all the way Like .
Speaker 1But why have to give the turmoil ? It could be , it could be , it could be bliss . I mean , there's other sides of that .
Speaker 2I'm saying I'm not , I haven't found anybody that I'd be willing to risk that with , and not to say that that would happen with my relationship . But as somebody who at least I'd be , like you know I could get mad at you and still want to be with you and looking around the dating pool and everything else that we have right now , I'm like no , I'm not seeing it , so like I will rather wait . I'd rather not just have somebody , just to have somebody , like no , that's something for like somebody , 20 somethings to do all that kind of stuff , have your fun , go around , you know happy people around , all that kind of stuff . But as you get older , I'm like no , like I'm good , I'd rather have some quality over quantity . And I think like a lot of guys are waking up to that and like , oh shoot , like man , I got to have something like I'd be other than or not just my money . I can't leave with just my finances and everything else .
Speaker 1No , if you're a guy , you use your finances and you get women . That's how it goes when you're a guy Like you usually get the money and then you get the , even if you can not have the happiness because I believe like their organic relationships are gonna be separate from financials and that other stuff . Right , we all know that , but also don't complain about it , then you can't complain about it . Especially when you see some of these older men .
Speaker 2Some of these older men that have had the money and had the lifestyle works like I did , the younger women , and now they're upset . They're like oh , these young women , they don't really care about me . Like duh , sir . Like duh , I don't get it , Don't complain . Now , Like a lot , and especially some of the older guys . They have a few that I have met . They have health issues and they're looking for a caregiver .
Speaker 1And I am not that girl , I am not that girl I am not . I'm not looking for a nurse . No , no , no , they are no . I will tell you two people that were coming for me . Goodness gracious , that is hilarious .
Speaker 2I tell you personal experience . Two people that were coming for me Like one of them was in and out of the hospital for diabetes , all this other stuff , and the other one had some of them other issues that he was going to have , but they found themselves one lonely , they don't really have anybody around them , and two there's this like well , I want somebody young to be my energy , be my fun , entertain me , but also make sure I get to my appointment .
Speaker 1All right , they're like no , I'm not doing that , I'm not doing that , I need a ride to my appointment . Is that what you're going to ?
Speaker 2do yes , and I'm like who do you think these young ?
Speaker 1women are .
Speaker 2You've got to be kidding me what ?
Speaker 1age . Is that Like ? Is that like ? I mean , I'm thinking like you're in your 70s , what age do you ? Because I know a lot of people in their 60s who are still able-bodied human beings . They're not like crawling around out here .
Speaker 2I'm not saying they're called human beings , but I'm saying they're not . They're health-wise , not what it used to be , and now that they're seeing that they have more needs and need that kind of care and attention and that's what they're paying some of these women for is for the care and attention to be the other planner , to be the fun time girl and all that kind of stuff . It makes me feel alive again , all of that .
Speaker 1Yo , what's wrong with that ? If you're going to pay for a Costco membership and I don't see why you wouldn't pay for that I'm not saying anything wrong .
Speaker 2But don't be , don't complain about it later on when it doesn't work out or it's not how you wanted to be relationship-wise , like I want a deeper connection with her , like I feel like I could really talk to her about some of the things that concern me , especially as you get older , you have different cares , you have different wants and needs . As you get older , and when you find that the woman that you're with doesn't have that because she's not at that age , like it is what it is Like , don't be upset , don't and then try to make her just like you're not .
Speaker 1That say they're old souls to know . So when I'm watching the interviews because these situations I will tell you , when you start to get to like 25 to 30 years and it starts to really get out there I think one of the ones I saw was even 40 years when it starts to get 20 , 30 , 40 years differential here those things are noteworthy for a reason because they're not super common , and that part I will co-sign with you , that we were talking about that earlier when you were like I don't know . I will co-sign that it's not common . It ain't like somebody's leaving their house and saying I want somebody 20 , 30 , 40 years older than me . But some of those situations do happen , though organically . Sometimes they hang out and a person's not really looking for it and then it does end up happening . Is that ?
Speaker 2not a possibility . You said organically when are you hanging out with somebody 30 to 40 years your senior on the regular where you can just happen to have this blossoming relationship ? Unless you're searching for them , it's a hunt . You're looking .
Speaker 1So , ok , well , I will tell you this , thaddael , I can put that in two different ways . So if you're looking on sugar babies , sugar daddies , of course that's like a hunting ground . For the most part , they are out there . The women are looking for the bag , the man are looking for the young women , but the reason why I feel like that's still OK is because nobody can turn . Everybody knows . We all know what we're here for . There's a lot of transparency . You're literally signing up to a website that says sugardaddies or sugarbabiescom .
Speaker 1You're literally on here looking for that Trying to get it , trying to get that , so I get that and then you can put that in one area . But also there are people , whether they are at , they might meet them at a restaurant they might go to , they might frequent a place they might see a place where this person will stop .
Speaker 2At a health care facility Good . Miss Gracious , no you don't need At a NARP convention yeah .
Speaker 1You might be out and about these people , these people as the nails bashes , all of our old population here , goodness gracious , I feel like some people . They're just frequenting spots and then you just happen to run into these individuals Like there's , you can do it anywhere , right At a grocery store . There are people working there , so there's gotta be a cashier there . Maybe that person comes there all the time . They strike up a conversation with the cashier and maybe the cashier it's not . I will say , because in some of the situations that I've seen , it wasn't like either person really planned it , but they legit struck up a conversation and it wasn't like it's a week . You know , I saw they weren't swiping on Tinder and saw this person and swiped right on them . They just happened to see the person over and over and over again , made a little conversation here and there , and then some things do happen like that . I'm not saying that that's just the way that things happen organically , but I do see those things and when it comes to the wall , so to speak , because that's in the manosphere , that's a big thing . You know , they hit the women hitting the wall and they get to 30 and it's over with .
Age, Gender, and Relationship Dynamics
Speaker 1Just go get your cats and just just withdraw from society , type situation .
Speaker 1I can't say that , can co-sign that , because of the generalization of it , because it's massively generalizing . You know what I mean . There's very different circumstances for each individual . So I do think it's crazy to be like , hey , once you got a three in front of the your age , you just need to just take it . Yeah , just go ahead and just take it in for the rest of your life , just go find some friends and some cats .
Speaker 1I don't agree with that because I think that it's very different depending on how your situation is and how you might take care of your health . Right , people take care of their health , all right , some people don't even look their age . So , people , there are different circumstances for different people . But if I am to just look at the overall , do you think that it's harder past a certain age or do you think that this is the same at a certain age ? Cause I think that with guys it's just different only because guys they don't mind . If you're looking at sugarbabiescom , it shows you that guys don't mind , they're just putting the money out . Yeah , it's just putting the money out At a matter of age . No issue , it's not the appeal . What happened to that ? What happened to that 401K or whatever they got to do ?
Speaker 2I mean , I've had offers that girl , I can give you two of my pension , so I don't think that's a problem .
Speaker 1I can give you two of my pension . Good Chris .
Speaker 2No , my friends are all what Late 20s to early 40s , and there's no shortage of people wanting things .
Speaker 1Are they all in relationships , or what is that percentage ? It's me A little bit of both , some that aren't yeah some that aren't , that aren't .
Speaker 2Some have been married for a long time and all that stuff . But the single friends they're not . They still get offers , they still get the dates . They're not sitting at home with their cats .
Speaker 1Are the offers just a smash ? Because , guys , a smash , a cop's position .
Speaker 2So it's like is it ?
Speaker 1You'd be surprised .
Speaker 2No , it's , both People are legit . I want to lock it down pretty much .
Speaker 1And .
Speaker 2I think most of them are on the fence with some of these relationships just because it's a little bit of like a societal . Some of them want to have kids and want to have families , so they're seeing this person is there and available , but it's not actually the person that I actually want or can see myself with for the rest of their life or whatever else you want to do . If you want to get married or whatever , and I think that's a hesitation with some women , and then at least my friends and then a few of them would say it's that whole peace thing , like I don't , I'm good , I don't have to have that , I'm not trying to get married or all that kind of stuff . I would say there's more men trying to get married than there is the women .
Speaker 1Get out of here , At least at this point . So you believed in them . There are more men who are trying to get married . Is what you're believing ?
Speaker 2Yes . Why would you believe that ? Depending on the age ? I would say yes Because If you say , if you're a man in business , it looks good to be married , they're gonna take you more seriously . Because because you you can maintain a relationship long term and that shows stability and it shows that you can care . You'll care for their business or whatever else you do as a client , you'll treat them well and so Going that person to be Everyday .
Speaker 1They have 17 side chicks . Nothing . They don't know about that . If they don't know about it , it is .
Speaker 2It's like literally got the ring on the finger . So you've seen these , some of these marriages , people over there for 30 years and like they can't scan each other , but they're still together and you'll still see that we go there they're about page on the website and they'll have me married or married long-term , and how accomplished the wife is or whatever else .
Speaker 2So it looks good , especially coming from business standpoint . And then as man in general , like you have somebody with you , you you're taking more seriously Single men , especially when they get older , like okay , if you're not like George Clooney , but still what they're like most agile , eligible bachelor , they , everybody's coming for him like getting their Bruce Wayne on out here .
Speaker 1You know what I mean . Bruce Wayne , even though he's is a fictional character and I don't know what age he tried , you know , being at what Batman came out . But Bruce Wayne , you know , hey , eligible bachelor for all his life man . He's fighting crime at night , you know , and he's pulling these women all the time .
Speaker 2Yeah , but now regular guys aren't fighting crime , so that's true , and they don't have .
Speaker 1they don't , there's no back . Hey , where's your back ? Hey , that basically what you're saying .
Speaker 2They don't have billions to warm them up . So but no , I've had a conversation with some of my guy friends that are older and they see , especially when they look at their families , they say a lot of their uncles or single and Not as in a good situation and a lot of the aunts like they got the house , they got the car , you know they've had the family around or whatever else , but they're still single as well . But you can see a difference in between the two , between the two as far as stability and the future . I would say a lot of the women end up with government jobs , at least the ones that I know . So they have the pension government jobs . Yeah , they start at least here in California . It's like most everybody works for government somewhere around that or whatever .
Speaker 2Not and if you're not in entertainment . But a lot of them have , like , the pensions , they have the 401k , so they don't have to keep working and they don't have to do that stuff . They can retire and all that . But I found that a lot of the men that are At least that he was talked about for his family , they don't . They don't have that . So they're just kind of like floating , just kind of there . So I'll be upset too . I'll be looking at women like I can't stand y'all .
Speaker 1I do feel like that's hilarious . I Do feel like there's a difference to know between like I think some of which may be describing is like In-cell behavior and some of it's like just Lonely guy . But so there are , there's no doubt there's some people and I don't like this is even just a guy thing . There Can be like a loneliness epidemic . You know , I mean we're people in general because it's so hard as adult Just make friends and we could do a whole nother show Just based on that in general , because that's just difficult .
Speaker 1It's difficult like when you're younger you have a lot of what I call force interaction and that force interaction be school , it can be Jobs you're getting where you kind of meet these people and as you kind of get older and you can kind of shape your own world , especially now with social media , you can live in complete bubble and then just not ever leave it , you know . And then now that you don't have that interaction with the public in at large , then you don't have as many opportunities to meet people . So I believe like loneliness can just be , and especially adult loneliness can be just a human thing . But you were saying that in the man , in the man-o-sphere , and We'll probably wrap this for a while and do another one of these shows in the man-o-sphere . To know , you were saying there's some things you agree with , some things you don't agree with . So let's touch quickly on both of those things . What are the things we'll do that Don't agree with first and then we'll do the agree with after that ?
Speaker 2I would say I would agree with . As a woman , you do need to have something of your own . I .
Speaker 1Would just say that things you agree with , yes , yes , something .
Speaker 2I would say something on your own , something to stand on . I Would agree with that , because you see a lot of time , or well , what you're seeing now is when they went through the whole divorce thing , it was like little thing to do or whatever . A lot of the women were staying at home moms or they just didn't have the kind of careers that their , their significant others had , and they went through a huge struggle coming out of that . And I would say , as a woman , like , make sure you have your own . Like you need to either do your own making count , have your own like little side career . You don't have to just stop everything .
Speaker 2Even if you're staying at home mom , you can do a little side business or something like so , store some money away , something , so that just okay , something happens . You have , you have a way to take care of yourself and your children . I would agree with that and I wouldn't say like , oh , you need to make sure you have something to bring to the table , whatever all other junk . But I Would say that you need to have Something like a but was it the rainy day fund or something like that ? I would agree on that .
Speaker 1On that side , is that versus like Asking a guy for something that you just totally don't have yourself ? Is that what you're saying , like what you say you give , because that's what a lot of guys in the man's fear are basically saying that a woman might ask a guy and it'll be like complete delusional amounts We've talked about this before where they'll be like I need him to make half a million dollars or just to look at me type of thing , and then you make like 35 and 30,000 a year and Is you feel like there that's needing to be evened out a bit , or what do you ? What do you ? Is that kind of where you're going with that ?
Speaker 2I would say that's not . That's not new , that's kind of always been the case , even in the olden days , like women didn't have anything before . So correct , I need you to rely on a man .
Speaker 1Go get jobs and stuff like that so I can see those , but now I feel like , though . Now it's different , though now women work , now women make , make the , even though it might not be one to one . It's not the same thing where you are forced to stay at home and , you know , be barefoot and bear be children make me sandwiches all day , like it . You don't know . You're not necessarily forcing that into .
Speaker 2Some of the men are still expecting you to go into that life . They're gonna get with you . They expect you to be a supplement .
Speaker 1That , though , right if they want that , then you gotta be prepared to Pay for her .
Speaker 2I would agree
Gender Roles in Relationships and Expectations
Speaker 2like I would be . So , being in a construction , like there's a lot of men who have this idea of , of what their relationship should be like , and I feel like they have a point of pride when they can say like oh , Talk to the guys . I have a stay at home wife . She doesn't do anything but then they'll turn around and complain like oh , my wife stays at home , she doesn't do anything .
Speaker 1I was like what do you want then ?
Speaker 2What do you want ? Cuz you know I talked to him . I was like , well then , why don't you tell her like hey , you shouldn't be working , cuz they're stressed out like oh , I have to pay all these bills , I got a high mortgage . I'm like then go ask her to work , change your agreement , do something different .
Speaker 1No .
Speaker 2No , I'm saying , like when you agree to marry somebody , y'all decided like she was gonna stay at home , or or if there is anything that comes up in life and they're like , oh , our kids aren't doing well in school , we need somebody to take care of that . You're looking at most of them are looking at their wife to go either stop working or go and handle that stuff . Okay , so I'm like how ? And then how you can turn around and be like upset when you gotta take care of everything . Like I don't , I don't get . It doesn't make sense to me . Like this is what you signed up for . That's a part of it .
Speaker 2There's gonna be ups and downs when it comes to that , but it is a life you wanted to live . If you didn't like it , then you actually have a common , have a conversation about that and decide what to do after that . Because , like I said , when she married you , y'all had an understanding of her . She was gonna be at home or raising the kids and all that stuff . If it was gonna be cooking or not or whatever , that's all between you guys . But don't , don't come back later and just like , oh , I got it so hard , my duh , you're supporting a whole lot of family like no , right , I like knowing what you're getting into , type situation here .
Speaker 1Now tell me the , because that was one thing and let's talk about something . Let's just do one thing , as we'll do one to one , and then we'll probably do a whole another show on this at Some point . To know , so we can kind of flesh it out a little bit more , what is the one thing that you reflect , you disagree with the most ?
Speaker 2Oh , I feel like there's a little bit of a spectrum when it comes to the manastere stuff , because you'll get the even the ones where it's like I need to tear down her , her existence and belittle the woman and make her feel like jump to stay with her .
Speaker 2And then there's also the ones where , just like they'll weaponize their care , like I care to an extent about how she feels and compassionate about how she feels to an extent , as long as my own needs are being met . I don't think the tip for tat thing is beneficial for anyone , especially not in a relationship , because you can't . It's some of the stuff that you guys do , or especially when it's women's side , caring about the family and everything else . It's not quantifiable , you can't really show the numbers behind some of that stuff . So I would say I wouldn't agree with that part of it , especially when you're looking at a relationship long term , like it's not going to be . Even there's going to be some things that she's going to do more of , some things that you do more of . So I think not having a flexible stance on that that's . I take the issue with that every time .
Speaker 1That's interesting and we'll have some more next time . We'll probably do some more video examples here , because I love bringing those . Those are amazing because those like people who are actively saying these things that we're talking about , because one thing for us to like just discuss them is nothing for the audience to kind of see them and then we can kind of just talk about it . So I'll probably do more of that here at some point and I'll appreciate you taking time in the frigid 65 degree weather that you're in to join me here .
Speaker 2I know I'm going to go with thought out next to my heater . It's just a struggle . It's hot coffee or something . Have fun where you are .
Speaker 1Check us out , Stitcher . I Heart Radio could go podcast . I will podcast Spotify wherever you find your podcast . See you next time and actually wait . I got to bring up the TikTok and Instagram now and come actually putting stuff on there One day one day , danelle , I'm going to actually log in to there .
Speaker 1You know , I have a social media person . She's amazing and she does it , and we had a talk recently and she was like you have to , like , do stuff . I need to , and I'm going to , danelle , 2024 is a year of me doing stuff . Man , I'm going to get on there , get out of my comfort zone . I'm going to take some pictures , because I have like seven and I'm going to end those seven or saying those same seven are being used all the time . So what I'm going to do is I'm going to take it over up to 15 this year . We're going to get that up , thank you . Thank you for that . I appreciate that . All right , ladies and gentlemen , see you next time .